


I'll Think

by kinglorenzochoi



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, Childhood Friends, Choi Youngjae-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Sad Youngjae, Temporarily Unrequited Love, drabble-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 17:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18481090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinglorenzochoi/pseuds/kinglorenzochoi
Summary: This part I will never forget.You said – “Maybe I should just fall in love with you instead.”I’ll think of how I filled with both hope and disappointment at the same time. Maybe for a quick second I believed that you were going through the same thing – that you were looking at me and noticing all the little things that you never cared about before. But that wasn’t the reality. The reality was that you were in love with a pretty fifteen-year-old girl, and she only stayed long enough to crack your heart the way mine did at that park.//In his old age, Youngjae recounts the memories of a childhood friend.





	I'll Think

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! so this is a short story i wrote a while ago when i was feeling particularly angsty and decided to adapt it to fit 2jae dsjfksjf hope you like it!!

Maybe the last thing I’ll think of before I die, is you.

No, not maybe – definitely.

I’ll definitely remember every single detail about you. I’ll definitely think of the way your eyes turn into two crescent moons when you smile, the way your bangs fall just perfectly above your eyes, and how your voice sounds when you laugh at something I said.

I’ll think of the moment we met.

I’ll think of how you were ten and I was eight, and you bought me a new cone of ice cream after I carelessly dropped mine on the ground. You only smiled when I thanked you and you said –

This part I will never forget.

You said – “You’re a baby. I’m going to be your friend.”

I’ll think of how you forced your way into my life – how I saw you every day after school at the park, how you would push me on the swing because no one else wanted to, and how you wasted all your pocket money buying me ice cream every single day.

I became so attached to you that I even convinced my parents to let me attend your middle school. I’ll remember how we spent every waking moment together and nothing ever felt misplaced. You became a part of me. You were my best friend.

I’ll think of the moment everything changed.

I’ll think of how you were fifteen and I was thirteen, and you sat beside me on the grass of the park that we had visited perhaps thousands of times at this point of our lives. Your hair was tucked behind your ears and your eyes were concentrating on a note a pretty girl had passed to you in class.

I was unable to take my eyes off you – for some reason, your mere existence became the reason my heart was beating out of control. I suddenly noticed every detail about you I hadn’t cared about before. I noticed the hues of your hair, the sparkles in your eyes, and the softness of your skin. You didn’t notice I was staring, but you huffed in frustration over the note in your hands and you said –

This part I will never forget.

You said – “Maybe I should just fall in love with you instead.”

I’ll think of how I filled with both hope and disappointment at the same time. Maybe for a quick second I believed that you were going through the same thing – that you were looking at me and noticing all the little things that you never cared about before. But that wasn’t the reality. The reality was that you were in love with a pretty fifteen-year-old girl, and she only stayed long enough to crack your heart the way mine did at that park.

I’ll think of the moments I spent waiting.

I’ll think of when you were seventeen and I was fifteen, when you were eighteen and I was sixteen, when you were twenty and I was eighteen – and all the ages in between when I convinced myself I had stopped waiting, but still thought about kissing you in the late nights we spent together.

Then one day, I just stopped.

But you had just started.

I’ll think of the moments you spent waiting.

I’ll think of when you were twenty-two and I was twenty, when you were twenty-four and I was twenty-two, when you were twenty-six and I was twenty-four – and all the years you watched me fall in and out of love, and almost give away my heart to someone else.

But you never stopped.

I’ll think of the first time you kissed me.

I’ll think of how you were twenty-eight and I was twenty-six, and you sat in front of me as you helped me get ready for a party I had been invited to. A boy that I was beginning to like was going to be there and I wanted to look my best. The feeling of your skin against mine didn’t make me shiver anymore, but I still found myself imagining how things would have worked out had I kissed you when we were teenagers. You had your fingers in my hair as you were brushing it out, but after a moment you stopped. I remember you looked into my eyes and I looked into yours and you said –

This part I will never forget.

You said – “Will you let me kiss you?”

I’ll think most of the years we were happy.

I’ll think of how our ages stopped mattering once we entered our thirties, how we blended into each other for years and years. You would sit on the floor of the balcony with me and laugh at how badly I pined over you in our teens. I would laugh at how you did the same thing in our twenties. You would kiss my nose every night before we went to sleep. I would poke your ear.

We fell into our routines and became accustomed to each other. The fiery spark that fueled us had dimmed but I didn’t care. We were happy and in love – that was all that mattered to me.

I’ll think of when you left.

I can never remember how old we were – maybe it’s because I don’t want to know how long we spent feeling unhappy. A framed picture of us as teens was smashed on the floor. You had a suitcase in your right hand, and we were both crying. The broken frame was an accident. Neither one of us were angry. We just needed to know if it was possible to survive on our own. You held my face in your hands – the same way you did when you first kissed me. You tried your best to smile as tears began rolling down, and you said –

This part I will never forget.

You said – “If it’s meant to be, we’ll come back to each other – but please, don’t wait for me.”

I’ll think of how I actually listened to you.

I’ll think of how I spent my remaining years chasing my goals and living life as full as I could. I was happy and accomplished, but every single night, I still thought of you. I wondered how you were doing. I wondered if you still thought of me from time to time. I wondered if you would ever come back.

I never waited for you, but I was always still in love with you.

Maybe the last thing I’ll think of before I die, is you.

I’ll think of how you passed just months before this moment.

I’ll think of how you called before you went – to tell me you missed me. You wanted to come back.

I’ve been thinking of you a lot today.

You really are the last thing I think of.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! i'm currently working on a long 2young oneshot that might come out ~soon~ if anyone is interested sooooo keep an eye out for that! thanks for reading <3


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